Ive always been drawn to the idea of writing about my thoughts. In a counterpoint, I hate the concept of people
finding out too much about my idiosyncratic mind & thoughts.
Thats why I'm writing this in case that, for any reason, I'm not here to experience
the disgust of having to deal with other people’s alienated opinions
about my own experience, so itd be my last wish to have my beliefs and experiences shown,
in response to it being hidden my entire life. I was born in september 16th in the year of 2006, conceived in a miserable city in the southeast of Brazil.
My mother told me that when i was being born the lights of the hospital went off (thats Brazil for you) so in the end of the operation,
they had to make her go do an x-ray to see if they had let a scissor inside of her during the whole mess situation,
i used to think that was the moment where she found out that i would be nothing
but a great cause of problems in her life. That’s until she told me that
she really didnt want to have me, tried every contraception method, but still I was born. Its comical to think about how hard I fought to be born,
and now would do anything to soundly disappear into a cosmos of nothing, having nothing but the company of myself and the comfort of silence.
But I guess I couldnt have ever figured out how bad it was going to be.